We've thrown together some of the most basic words in the blue box below, but if you want to suddenly show a flash of brilliance - even if just for a second or two - memorise these for those crucial encounters:
Mit der Dummheit kampfen Gotter selbst vergebens.
Against stupidity even the gods struggle in vain.
Moge die Macht mit dir sein.
May the Force be with you.
The main thing is you don't have to learn any hybrid form of German as Austrian German is overwhelmingly the same kettle of fish (or bag of sausages if we can throw in yet another bad pun).
Luckily, with only a couple of sentences to spare, we don't have time to terrify you with all the dastardly intricacies of declensions, genders and the like. (Then we'd have to reveal how utterly inept we are....)
So onwards friends - let's learn some Deutsch....!