It's certainly not the intention of Vienna Life to use these pages as an arena to throw darts at hapless foes, but the emergence of the Euro 2008 mascots this week couldn't really pass unnoticed.
This Wednesday, to great fanfare, the so-called twins were transported by horse-drawn carriage through the streets of Vienna before alighting at the Stephansplatz for further photo opportunities.
To get straight to the point, these twins are terrifying little chaps. Not in the sense that they might pull a knife on unsuspecting punters, but they are simply unbearable to look at. The punky pair look more annoying than the most annoying characters ever to have graced television screens. They were born to jump up and down and shout yippee in annoyingly loud, chipmunk voices.
But hang on a moment, you cry! They're for kids, they're not supposed to be for boring old gits like you. And those punky hairstyles, they echo the mountainous peaks of Austria and Switzerland - a quirky and wholesome way to reflect the host nations.
Well, before we end up sounding like terrible spoilsports, we want to pledge our undying devotion to those glorious knights of puppetdom, Zippy from 'Rainbow' and Oscar from 'Sesame Street.' They had class, they had style, they had panache.
OK, maybe we are sour old gits.....
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